


so in love with the wrong w o r l d

by bowtiesnrocksalt



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angels, Gabriel's a bit of a maniac, I don't know, I'm tired, Insane! Gabriel, M/M, Sabriel - Freeform, So yeah, Some dreamlike stuff, based off of a song, but hey, but you'll see, florence and the machine to be exact, gay porn or not i'll support you, i guess, i need tea, if you read it that is, it's your life man, mentions of Destiel, read what you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-04 20:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3088106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bowtiesnrocksalt/pseuds/bowtiesnrocksalt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re dreaming if that’s what you want, Sam. You’re living, you’re dying, or you’re falling. Falling in ways that I do want you to say out loud but your pride is a precious thing, isn’t it?” Gabriel asked, voice falling into a tone used to mimic a child pouting before a grin broke the mask. Sam almost startled as Gabriel’s wings shot out, consuming Sam’s form in a blanket of pure, blinding light before it died down to something warmer. Sam shuddered, skin charging with raw electricity as Gabriel stood only inches from him. </p>
<p>-</p>
            </blockquote>





	so in love with the wrong w o r l d

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thefictionwolf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefictionwolf/gifts).



> Yeah, so I wrote this.  
> Dunno why, exactly.  
> It's gotta be one of my longest fics if I'm thinking straight.  
> Unlike these two here. 
> 
> Anyway, I highly recommend you listen to 'Blinding' by Florence and the Machine while reading this and on repeat. Here's a link to a site that will repeat it for you- 
> 
> http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=ZQjx9ZiVQvY#Florence_and_the_Machine-_Blinding_Lyrics
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated as well as tea, but you can't really get that to me so.. yeah. Stuff. Things? Rick Grimes.
> 
> Also I have to go over this one because, as those of you who have read some of my other fics know, I didn't really look it over for mistakes as much I should have. 
> 
> Anyway
> 
> bye, felicia. 
> 
> (I gift this to my friend thefictionwolf because I haven't posted the story we were discussing though I REALLY should have by now. Like seriously. IT'S BEEN FOREVER UGH)

A lion. That’s what he was. He could be everything else that Sam had previously compared him to- a storm, a question, an ink-spill in the middle of a pure, raw white heaven. But at the moment he was nothing but a lion with a halo of knowingness that Sam wanted to scratch out completely.

“So, Samuel.” He said his name WRONG and Sam knew he did this on purpose because the gold melted into tinted amber and the corners of his lips curled like a thin, pink vine. Sam shifted in the rouge leather seat, his ever-changing eyes finding the myriad of gold with slight distaste that he knew full and well would dissolve from his being like sugar in water.

“It’s, uh-… Sam. Just Sam. You can call me- yeah.” He corrected, clearing his throat with a noticeable falter of his gaze that struck a bird-like tilt of head from Gabriel. Sam mentally scolded himself as he looked upon the other unbearably complex man. A man he was supposed to hate by a design of secrecy and law but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t bring himself to feel disgust at the sight of two honey-colored orbs filled to the brim with pure knowingness and carelessness –bordering indifference, actually. It was simply impossible and Sam wanted out of it. He wanted to claw it his way out of the pure golden-laced cage and find some sort of anchor in the storm of sunlight but he stayed put. He stayed put because he wanted to; he wanted out because he needed to.

“No problem, then, Sam. There a Winchester in there somewhere?” Gabriel’s voice was a boat adrift a sea with no bottom and nothing but endless impossibility upon the horizon. Sam wanted to hate it. He knew he should hate it. He didn’t, he couldn’t, and he wouldn’t.

“Yeah. Sam Winchester.” Sam put the two together with a visible frown and Gabriel’s eyes sparked like embers at the twitch of Sam’s lips. The Winchester wanted to take it back, to steal at least something from Gabriel’s infinite stretch of twisted mind, but mentally admitted a defeat that he knew would always crash upon him when it came to Gabriel. Gabriel, whom he met not but five minutes ago, could bring him down to his knees with a simple look and Sam felt pitiful. Terribly, awfully pitiful.

\- There’s a lamb and there’s a lion. That’s the way all of it begins and it’s against nature, the way the two lapse into such a synchronized freefall. It’s against every law in the book but it’s nothing in their lost gazes. All of those words and rules and laws amount to nothing and the only thing they see is the possible divinity of their unity. All they care to see is each other and themselves because lions don’t lay with lambs.

Lions don’t lay with lambs lest it be in scarlet- a rule so easily stamped out like a fire by the two beasts of God-

“So, Sam Winchester, why are you here?” Gabriel asks, tone silky and impossibly alluring. Sam falters yet again, weight shifting slow like the tectonics that he swore Gabriel had the power to move. Soon his mind, a small, meek thing in comparison to Gabriel’s, finds an excuse.

“I-I see things.” Sam blurts out, blinking fast for a reason that he crams down in his skull and stops as soon as the thought’s drifted away. Gabriel was looking at him the whole time but with the way his eyes changed it seemed as though he just started to stare. Sam’s breath stuttered in his chest, warm, mint-scented air fluttering inconstant and Sam hated himself just a little more. Even more so when Gabriel leaned back, ankle resting on his opposite knee and though it was acceptable in a work place Gabriel made it seem sacred. Like it was something only he could pull off and Sam swore he could froth at the mouth.

“What kind of things, Sam? Scary things? Nice things? Fake things? Real things?” Gabriel’s voice was a song, then.

\- Sunlight moving impossibly fast because that’s what it was- light. Light flashing by through flushed clouds and light pushing against the dull blackness. Light thicker than honey and it suffocated like golden ash that made up the halo above him and by all things Holy, it was deliciously impossible.

(Light flooding in and being pushed back in with the hand of a cycle that could be controlled by the smallest shift of a beast’s gaze.)-

“They’re scary things. Demons. Monsters. Shape-shifters. Angels.” Sam checked them off one by one and his tongue bubbled with the ones that he knew were too fake. The ones that’d be crossing the line that Sam put there himself and wouldn’t cross though he knew that Gabriel would accept it nonetheless.

“Angels are scary to you, Sam?” The question disarms the taller, his gaze finding gold with confusion and realization. The word had slipped from his mouth with ease and Sam couldn’t scold himself enough for the mistake. He’d have to keep on yelling and correcting his posture and doing everything that he didn’t want in order to keep at least some part of him a secret. He doubted that there was much left for Gabriel to discover, though.

\- Claws clicking against stone and there’s fire in the thick, empty darkness. There’s something larger than life with teeth made to pierce and coat made to collect the light that crackled like white-hot lightning through its veins. It dwarfs the simple rays of bleached sun coming from the other’s coat and but it’s impossibly lovely to the beast. –

“No. No, of course not. They’re one of the good things.” Sam corrects, voice becoming smaller as Gabriel straightens himself out and stands. He’s practically drowning in a cocktail of fear, awe, and wonder and he knows that Gabriel absorbs it like it’s the only Heaven he knows. Sam believes it to be the only Underworld, the only place he’ll feel dwarfed while simply in the presence of another.

“Name some other good things for me, Sam.” Gabriel orders, voice respectful as he saunters easily across the dark floors. “If you don’t mind, that is.” He adds, suddenly behind Sam and it was then that Sam tensed up. He felt suffocated in open space and it was poisonous gas filling his lungs- shards of broken stars and molten amber pushing at his ribs.

\- Out of shadows and breaking all the infinite black velvet with claws and golden optics that burn just a little too much. Something rising shakily and unsteadily- in no way close to the impossibility of the beast lurking before it. It can’t challenge it or talk –bleat mutely because what else could it do?- and there wasn’t even a chance that it’d approach the beast. All of the air was being pulled from its small lungs like it was on strings and the steady breaths of the beast were the puppeteer. –

“Um… order is good. Everything in place and nothing out of line. Nothing pinned up or trapped or held down. Nothing kept tied down by ropes.” Sam’s voice was sharper and abruptly he rose from his chair, eyes instantly finding the smaller frame of Gabriel. A challenge –something almost childish given the circumstances- swirled in his eyes and Gabriel’s immediately glowed. They glowed brighter than they ever had before and Sam’s heart stuttered pitifully in his chest. An interested curve of Gabriel’s lips made Sam straighten and watch as Gabriel choked out a sound of what could be amusement or curiosity. Both, maybe, but the thought was forgotten when Gabriel began to circle him. It was a slow sort of promenade, Gabriel’s eyes almost flaunting his well-known power over the taller as his feet collided with the floor with measured motions.

“Nothing held down, Sam? Order?” His voice bordered disbelief and he let out a small scoff, shaking his head before turning sharp on his heel and facing Sam. With careful, timed paces he stepped towards him, expression slowly melting into that of a calm madness and Sam swallowed thickly. “Now where’s the fun in that?” He asked, inches away with hands folded neatly behind his back. Sam stared down at him, tracing the sharp edges of challenged authority in his eyes, and looked away. He almost missed the small smile of victory that played on his lips before he glanced back up.

“I- I..”

“You? You?” He repeated, face melting into something twisted before he tilted his head in bird-like manner once more. Sam gaped, mouth bobbing without words to litter his tongue and-

Lions are predators.

Lambs are prey.

Beasts are monstrosities without a single purpose but to kill and be feared. They aren’t meant to sympathize and this creation doesn’t. It simply understands and wills itself into something powerful and timid all the same in hopes to reassure the innocence lying at its side. The source of uncorrupted moonlight that’s so different than the sunlit core, molten and amber, which lies inside the lion. It’s alien and frighteningly familiar- an anchor in the storm that forms a halo atop its thundering skull. -

-

“And that’s it? You passed out?” His brother asked behind the lid of a bitter cup of coffee. Sam rolled his eyes, leaning back in the booth while his fingernails tapped an inaudible rhythm against the pseudo-wood. Across from him Dean observed him with green eyes that were much too wise for his otherwise young body.

“Yes, Dean. We’ve been over this.” Sam hissed, hazel eyes sharp as he watched his brother set down the mug and raise his hands in surrender.

“Just seeing if I got it right. I haven’t heard of you passing out on the job.” Dean replied, shrugging lightly before the two fell into a silence interrupted only by the soft murmur of those around them. Sam’s gaze glued to the greasy black container that held the multi-colored packets of sugar before Dean shifted. “You know that this guy is dangerous, Sammy. If you can’t at least stay-“ Dean’s voice was hushed and his words cautious before Sam sat up with a sharp huff of air.

“Really, Dean? I know that. I’ve been in this business since dad left and you have, too. Maybe even before that. I know how to handle Gabriel, okay? Just let me do my job.” He snapped, fumbling with his wallet before producing a tenner and sliding out the booth. He barely missed the look of annoyance on his brother’s face before he heard footsteps behind him, following him out of the door and out to the parking lot.

“Hey! Sam- Hey!” Dean pressed his palm on Sam’s shoulder, turning the taller towards him with a look of returned annoyance from his younger brother. “I just wanted to make sure, okay? Is that so bad? You’re my brother, alright? I just don’t want you dealing with what may possibly the world’s biggest nut-job and you passing out on the job.” Dean’s voice was firm and Sam was just a tad too tired to argue any more. With a soft sigh he nodded, tossing Dean the keys to the Impala before moving to slip into the passenger’s seat. As they moved down the road flickers of sun rushed through the window, bright and merciless, and for a moment Sam was reminded of golden eyes and hair before he turned on the radio to wash it out.

It didn’t work and Sam couldn’t say he was surprised.

-

Sam went to sleep with the help of something familiar and warm. His throat was burning and the space between his lungs lulled into a warm sensation as he slipped under his much-too expensive sheets. Minutes passed before he could bring himself to stop staring at the ceiling and finally close his eyes.

\- It’s a garden. It’s a garden made of flowers eons old that’ve been there for only minutes and Sam can’t make out the petals. Everything is simply colors- thick smudges of paint only reeling into clarity when he finds the sun. Then it’s all shapes and lines and Sam can see the shadows – no longer paint but an almost reality because he knows he dreaming.

He thinks.

He doesn’t want to believe he’s dreaming because what would he be, saying that he wanted to wake up from something as surreal as the garden? A place where he felt almost uncomfortably safe with spicy and sweet perfumes seeping into his nose and reminding him simply of home.

There’s a shape, though. It constantly shifts, melting into shades of light alien to Sam’s eyes and it’s something he couldn’t imagine by himself. With every single movement it made it seemed like it was toppling over buildings but all at once it was no bigger than a synapse. It swelled and shrunk, lightning buzzing around its form in immeasurable amounts and Sam blinked once.

He blinked once and it was right before him.

It was a man. Gabriel. Gold seeped from behind him in what Sam could barely make out as three pairs of wings. The feathers dripped ochre and amber; honey and a manifold of shades and colors Sam swore he’d never seen before. He had to force himself to look down at the face of Gabriel –all burning optics and knowing smirk.

“You’re not supposed to be here.” Sam stated, breath warm and smelled of cinnamon that he could only sense due to the dreamlike logic that kept this-this… place under loose ropes. Before him Gabriel chuckled, something more alluring than anything he’d ever heard.

“Neither are you, lovely.” Gabriel purred, voice a collection of ancient lyres and brassiere, holy instruments that melted into warm words. Sam felt something tingle against his chest, hot and forceful, but he denied Gabriel the pleasure of hearing it. A glimpse of something primal flashed in Gabriel’s burning eyes.

“Am I dreaming?” Sam asked, eyes shifting to examine his surroundings to find that it all had shifted. A plain of universe with no end blanketed them, making Sam feel almost pitifully small. With the surroundings he also noticed that he was standing in water that only reached his ankles. The water, warm and sweet-smelling, reflected the universe above them better than any mirror. It made it all seem impossible and endless and Sam so desperately wanted to drown in it.

“You’re dreaming if that’s what you want, Sam. You’re living, you’re dying, or you’re falling. Falling in ways that I do want you to say out loud but your pride is a precious thing, isn’t it?” Gabriel asked, voice falling into a tone used to mimic a child pouting before a grin broke the mask. Sam almost startled as Gabriel’s wings shot out, consuming Sam’s form in a blanket of pure, blinding light before it died down to something warmer. Sam shuddered, skin charging with raw electricity as Gabriel stood only inches from him.

“What- What are you? Is this real?” Sam breathed, confusion hitting hard at his skull and Gabriel seemed to notice it as his hand shot up to press against Sam’s cheek. Something impossibly warm and delicious passed through Sam in waves, making his muscles and bones go soft before he regained himself. He heard Gabriel chuckle low and soft before his hand slid down to Sam’s neck. Veins burning and breath shaky he stood impossibly still as Gabriel placed his other hand on Sam’s chest. His fingers danced like spotlights on Sam’s clothed flesh and with a slow, almost shocked inhale he looked down at Gabriel.

“I’m an angel, Sam. You’re-“ Gabriel cut himself off, his voice shifting into something almost pained as his fingertips ghosted over the place where Sam’s heart lay underneath. Something coiled tight in the pit of Sam’s core before he leaned down, hands sliding easily over Gabriel’s feverish wrists as his lips collided with the angel’s. With ferocity akin to that of a hurricane Gabriel brought Sam into his arms, blunt fingernails digging into Sam’s shoulder-blades and the back of Sam’s eyelids lost the red tint as their surroundings shifted. The sound of rolling thunder and lightning charging and releasing filled Sam’s ears, warm air sliding over his skin that couldn’t compare to the sensation Gabriel left. Experimentally Sam pushed against Gabriel, teeth nipping at his lower lip and lightning cracked like a whip as Gabriel’s back arched beneath Sam’s hand. Something breathless and broken escaped Gabriel’s lips and ghosted over Sam’s and it was then that Gabriel pulled away. Sam stood, confused and slightly hurt as he watched Gabriel catch his breath. In that time he took the chance to examine his surroundings and found that they were in the middle of a thunderstorm. It was as he had guessed yet so much more. He seemed to be standing on nothing; lightning twisting violently below his feet every few seconds and grey clouds swelling in some strange sort of animosity. Sam felt almost suffocated as he tried to find the beginning and end of each cloud but found that when he looked at the angel his lungs cleared up again. Of course he still felt overwhelmed with the strange reality to it but he loved it all. He was almost drunk off of it, the smell of cologne in the clouds and the honey-sweet scent of Gabriel filling his nose and he breathed in deep and greedy.

“Sam… Sam you have to understand, okay?” Gabriel breathed, straightening himself with a look of desperation clouding his golden orbs. “If you want you can stay here. You can stay with me but you’ll be dead in the other world. You’d be an angel with me and we’d go to those worlds you’ve always wanted to go to.” Gabriel assured, suddenly rushing towards Sam and gently bringing the taller to his knees with a strength that Sam couldn’t resist. “We can go into those worlds you read in books and see in movies. We can go to those worlds that you make all on your own, Sam.” He promised, voice hushed and with a tone that sounded almost psychotic. Something shook Sam’s skull, ringing and pulsing towards his ribs and Sam gasped, leaning more into Gabriel’s hold and the angel’s fingers dug into Sam’s skin with a feverish greed. “Feel that, Sam? That’s how much it’ll hurt you, going back to reality. All that pain. You don’t want that, do you Sam?” Gabriel asked, enunciating each word with a voice silky and lovely.

“But.. Dean.” Sam reminded, fingers reaching out pitifully to find the warmth of Gabriel’s form. At his words Gabriel pushed towards Sam, mouth not even an inch away from Sam’s with his wings forming a violent, golden canopy above them. White-hot veins of lightning scratched away at the space between the two appendages.

“Dean, I know, Sam, I know. He’ll be fine. I have a brother, Castiel- he’ll look after Dean, I swear.” Gabriel promised, lips brushing against Sam’s and eyes pinched close. “I swear, I swear.” He muttered and Sam almost shook in the realization of how beaten Gabriel had become. It fit him, as everything did, as he still held that almighty form but it contradicted his character all the same. The desperation in his voice and facial features twisted him into something darker than a mere mortal psychopath- it was simply an angel. An angel clouded and tainted with passion or lust or love and it shocked Sam, how absolutely desperate they became in the presence of the one their affections grew upon. It made Sam’s chest heave with breaths that danced across Gabriel’s mouth in a way that made the angel release something akin to a whine.

“If you promise.. then I’ll stay.” No sooner than the words left his mouth Gabriel’s mouth collided with him, lightning shaking the invisible ground beneath them. Sam was left shocked and breathless at Gabriel’s force, almost paralyzed at the desire that was pouring off of Gabriel like a waterfall. With as much power as he could he returned the kiss, stars littering his vision and his burning blood etching wants and desires and the name of his beloved into his thin veins.

When they began to fall Sam paid no attention to it. Gabriel’s arms only tightened around Sam’s form and Sam’s did the same but neither of them panicked. They didn’t need to and even if they did they wouldn’t. It was impossible in the throe of ache and love that suffocated them like ashes filling their lungs. For a moment he could hear words being whispered in foreign languages against his bruised lips. He didn’t recognize any of it but he heard the meaning as clear as the wind pummeling past them. Sam responded, desperate and fleeting, with the only three words he could understand or form.

And it was heaven.  


Impossible.

White heat pulling over and off like the tides of the ocean.

The smell of honey and amber filling his wide eyes.

A mouth murmuring hot against his neck.

Silence.

A garden.

A lion.

A lamb.

An angel.

A man.


End file.
